Words, like toothpaste, come out easily but can’t be put back in once they’ve come out. University of Oklahoma baseball coach Larry Cochell learned this firsthand. He was forced to resign from his coaching position for making insensitive remarks. “I am deeply sorry for any pain or embarrassment I have caused any individual or the university,” Cochell said. The individual on the receiving end of Coach Cochell’s words forgave him for the incident and did not want him to resign. “We all say things that we don’t mean,” this person said. “He made a mistake.”

The Apostle Paul wrote about a situation concerning a man in the Corinthian church who had apparently challenged Paul’s apostleship. Disappointed by the lack of support by others in the church on this occasion, Paul wrote to them with grief in his heart. The Corinthians realized their fault, repented, and reprimanded the man who was spreading false teachings (2 Co 2:6). Evidently the man was repentant, so Paul told the Corinthian church to “forgive and comfort him; otherwise, this one may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. Therefore I urge you to confirm your love to him” (vv. 7–8).

There are times when we must confront sinful behavior in other believers. However, the goal should never be to destroy the person, but rather to bring about restoration in his or her relationship with God. This comes about when we help the sinning brother or sister to recognize his or her sin and to sorrow over it, leading to repentance and reconciliation with God. Coaches, when we confront sin on our teams, let’s be restorers, not destroyers.