People can be in many loving relationships throughout their lifetime and never realize that true love is an action outside of emotion. Love takes skill, and like any skill it takes practice and attention to develop. In junior high I was enrolled in Tae Kwon Do for about three years. I loved it. I loved the discipline and skill involved. We learned all kinds of moves, refined them, then later put them to use in sparring.

In Philippians, Paul said that we should grow in our knowledge of how to love—our skill of loving—as well as discernment in how and when to use it. The Amplified version reads, “And this I pray: that your love may abound yet more and more and extend to its fullest development in knowledge and all keen insight that your love may display itself in greater depth of acquaintance and more comprehensive discernment.” In Tae Kwon Do, being proficient at the moves is just as important as knowing when to execute them. In order to love my wife the way she deserves, I need to continue to learn who she is and what her needs are, and at the same time grow in my skill in fulfilling those needs with excellence. As Christians we should be reaching out to the unsaved with love. We need to have discernment in giving them what they need, not what we think they need or what we want to give them. What worked in our lives may not mirror what ultimately works for others.